Meet The Idiot Who Labeled Say Anything “Shock Rock”

I didn’t think anything could top yesterday’s nutjob labeling Schoolyard Heroes “avowed Satanists” who “want to kill your children,” but a man named Jason Lee Miller really upped the ante, getting his panties in a bunch about Say Anything, of all bands, and their “shock rock.” Follow me on a journey where someone gets needlessly offended by a band and shouts from behind their computer how it is important to save the children!!!

The best part is, this particular nutjob is actually younger than I am! He’s 30 years old and he’s offended by a fan video for “Little Girls” that has appeared on YouTube. Apparently, his 14-year-old future stepson decided to show him it because he thought it was funny. He couldn’t figure out why. Well, the answer is simple: because it is funny.

I assume this is the one he speaks of, as it fits his description. He was too afraid to actually post it. I hear a flapping sound, and I don’t think it’s my desk fan….

Jason Lee Miller’s stomach turned. He couldn’t find the humor. He thinks his future stepson and all the people who commented that they liked the video are insane. He just… doesn’t get it.

From his column:

I’m not laughing because I’m at once disgusted and conflicted. I think of Columbine and Virginia Tech, of child predators, of all the sickos out there that these teenagers probably haven’t thought much about between Biology and English. They’re not having the visceral, sad, sickening feelings I am when I think of it – it’s just a bunch of nonsense to them. They don’t watch the news.

I guess the idea that he might be the problem, watching all this news over and over and letting “the man” tell him what to fear, is beyond his grasp. Citing rare incidents of extreme proportions like they happen every day — he has managed to take it all so seriously, he’s lost any perspective about escapism, jokes, and fantasy, and how they relate to the real world.

Of course, he also managed to lump the band in with “Ozzie,” Marilyn Manson, and Mudvayne, so we’re not dealing with someone who has much of a grasp on music, or what Say Anything is all about in the slightest.

Think this is funny enough already? It gets better. After discovering that Say Anything is one of the bands co-headlining the MySpace tour, Mr. Miller’s ass got so tight, he could turn coal to diamonds. He tried to contact the band, asking him to explain their lyrics to him — and is shocked he didn’t get an answer. The band is probably cracking up somewhere. I guess Mr. Miller, esteemed journalist, didn’t get the memo that bands generally don’t explain their songs to random people who demand to know what the songs mean.

So, naturally, he contacted MySpace and Fox Media, to ask them “how promoting a band that sings songs about killing little girls fits into their aggressive campaign against child predation on their website.” Gee, you know what? They didn’t answer. Because those people, as well, are probably laughing at this overreacting asshat who isn’t in on the joke, doesn’t want to be in on the joke, and is way too easily offended.

Guess what, dude? You’re not Say Anything’s target audience. The best part is, he assumed that a lack of response to his requests somehow equals something being terribly wrong, as he noted: “usually, if somebody doesn’t want to talk about it, then it probably should be talked about.”

And I guess he got what he wanted. People are talking about it. I’m writing about his sad-sack self, half laughing, half pitying someone who sits around obsessing something like Columbine, which, while tragic, was years ago. And he’s only 30, which is the worst part of all.

If I ever get old in the brain, which is precisely the condition that has befallen this poor man, and lose touch with how things really are in the world? I’m hoping someone gets me in touch with Dr. Kevorkian, as I sure as hell wouldn’t want to live a life where a fan-made YouTube video sent me into a tizzy.

To sum: a dude thinks Say Anything is a shock rock band. And their shock rock music has deeply upset him.

Good luck to that guy’s future stepson, because he’s really going to need it.

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